Points Pondered

Caught within the entanglements of work, school and family --- not to mention the demands of self --- I get to think most of the time how much better life would have been --- or would be if I were doing some other work and performing someone else's job.  To look for a greener pasture, so they say.  But if I were some people and working on some office other than the teaching field I have had the fortune (or misfortune?) of having worked on, they'd be apt to say that I am luckier not because I am a teacher, but because I have work.  There are some who do not really know the pressure of a teacher's life who would rather trade places with me, definitely, because if there were satisfaction for everyone regardless of where God has placed him, this saying wouldn't have been coined: "The grass is always greener when looked at at the other side of the fence."

If I were given the chance to work in another agency for a week --- or a month at it, would it still be the same?  Of course, it wouldn't be because it would be entirely a different job specification definitely that I would be working on.  If I were to remain in a government agency with its meager income yet taxing job, I'd still be struggling  to make ends meet because I'd still be earning the same meager income.  The challenge then is how to make the meager income last for the whole month.  Oh well, a teacher's salary couldn't make him materially rich, definitely.  This could be a reason why I get to think sometimes of the injustice in the situation I am in.  I most often invest more than what I receive.  It's a job that requires one to not count the rewards and yet demands one to invest of himself --- and his resources for most of the time.

BUt if I were not the teacher that I am now, what would I have been? Certainly, God would have planted me somewhere else, but would it have been a place where I could become better as a person?  Or bitter at the world and all the hypocrites around?  Nonetheless, in the academe, there are a lot of hypocrites... seems like this kind is fast growing in number, me included. To justify my hypocrisy, I am a hypocrite for some colleagues, but I am not a hypocrite to my students.  Weighing both --- the colleagues and the students --- the latter is heavier because without them, I wouldn't be enjoying a somewhat misplaced respect in society  just because of the fact that I am a teacher regardless of the fact that at some points I did not behave in the manner that a teacher is required to behave at all times ...

I could choose to stay and make my poor students victims of my own inaccuracies and inconsistencies and live to deal with my sometimes impossible demands to cover up for the reality that I really am not giving this job that has fed me and my family for years the priority that it deserves.  Or I could choose to give up ... and make someone else happy for the vacancy that I will be leaving behind.  Who knows, he/she will be a far cry from the picture of mediocrity that I ever was?

But well, am I really that willing to sacrifice? No ... I would rather have my cake and eat it too.

Oh well... just me and my nuisance of a mind.

If you happened to be here and enjoyed the entry, thank you...

But if you were here to spy on me and was hurt with what I am writing, well... "Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan huwag magalit." --- because it's my intention in the first place. Kung hindi man panggising, panggalit.