The past few weeks had been pretty fast and crazy. With deadlines to beat and all the stuff, it sometimes felt that I was chasing time --- or maybe the exact opposite was happening, time being the one running after me. Whichever the case, the effect on me is the same: I feel out of breath. I sort of feel like I am moving in all directions and yet there is no real direction to where I am going.
Activities have piled up one after the other --- all of them work related. Well, what can I say? Nothing, I guess ... even if I want to say a lot of things, I'd better keep my fingers locked to the more civilized keys on the keyboard so I couldn't start griping and complaining. After all, I have promised to myself I will be good --- at least, while I still can be, hehehe. I want to twist and shout (sounds like some sing and dance number, huh!) at the same time... and roll on the floor for a finale, but doing so is, of course, unthinkable considering that I have a wholesome (???) image to uphold. But in all reality, I really feel like doing all the unthinkable just to get my point across to whoever may have the heart to consider that teachers are also humans --- we also need to play every once in a while --- to sharpen our blunted edges so that we can be more like we were before this hurried and fast-paced work overtook the leisurely manner through which we did our job.
As I have mentioned beforehand, I promised to be good years ago --- after my published article. And because I know myself better than anyone else, I also know that I can only stand so much. I can only be good up to a certain point. And when this certain point has been reached, I know I'd fly off my handle and start ranting and raving like crazy...
And so, I made a project ... both for my vocally gifted students and for myself. I bought a pair of speakers and microphones.
Why???
Because this school year, I noticed that singing competitions have become an "in" thing again. We have joined inter-school singing contests and my heart always goes out to the kid who participates in the contest without thorough practice and exposure. They have the voice, yes, but I really feel that given the choice, the'yd rather that the floor would open up and swallow them whole. They only consented because they were not given any choice.
I just knew I had to do something. I had to take matters into my own hands because I know how it is to perform for quite a large audience and how much of an embarrassment it is to sing when I am unprepared. I started to form a group which I dubbed as the EVNHS Voices. I started out with only those whose vocal powers I already knew. After lunch and during our Special Programs, I'd attach the speakers to my computers and we'd had performances... just to practice the singing and for the members to practice singing in front of a crowd. We are already in our second week and the group is slowly growing. When they reach 50, we'd have to formalize the organization and elect its officers.
I know it isn't an easy venture on my part considering I have so much to do. But I enjoy every day that I spend practicing with my members. I feel a certain joy watching them share their God-given talents. I am awed at some raw performers who were't given the chance to shine earlier on because of, unfortunately, teacher biases. I feel a certain kind of fulfillment watching how a student-singer metamorphoses from a shy protegee to a confident one. It's tough for my schedule, but I feel fulfilled at the end of the day knowing I have helped one soul get out of the shell he/she had been hiding in for a long time.
I know I'd be meeting a lot of roadblocks along the way, but I am confident I can make it through. I prayed for guidance before I embarked on this personal project and I am faithful that God is going to help me through. It's tough and it's tiresome, but so far, it's been beneficial to me personally. This project I have embarked on had diverted my wayward thoughts into more positive and aligned ideals.
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