Swept Away By A "SOO-NAH-MI"

 yeah, swept away ... read on to know why

Another session for my Education 509 and we are assigned to do a presentation about killer waves. We're right here in the cyber library but I am doing my own stuff, hehe --- blogging on the side, that is. 

This is what happens when the software I am downloading so I can download a You Tube clip takes forever to complete.  I am already through downloading files, pictures and other related stuff and it's this darn downloader that's making the research process tarry. 

I wasn't thinking of doing a blog right here ion the cyber lib, but since the situation suggested that I do, then, here I am rambling like some madwoman without really knowing what I want to say and type --- well, bear with this somewaht crazy madam, LOL! And I learned quite a lot today.  I thought that research using the internet is termed the same as the good ol' "research", but  (hides face in shame) it's really termed as webQuest Inquiry. Wow! If didn't enrol, I wouldn't have known how it is called --- but of course, I know the process.  I didn't even know that putting together a collection of photos, journals, videos and the like is termed electronic portfolio --- ignoramus of moi! (I could laugh at myself, I know!)

And since I am at it, I thought that  the word TSUNAMI is pronounced as it is read --- meaning "tsu-nah-mi", but boy, was I wrong! It's to be pronounced "SOO-NAH-MI".

Kaulaw fud, hehe!

Pursuing My Masters and Loving Every Minute

While it appeared that I halfheartedly started my masters a little less than a week ago, today, I could say my attitude has totally changed.  Getting back into the academe and experiencing once more how it is to subject myself to the will of a professor is actually far from the scenario I conjured in my head.  I thought it would all be boring --- with the mentors practicing what traditionally were used in teaching.  Well, there's one or two who, without saying out loud, are resisting change, but I love the challenge as well.  I intend to integrate technology into my presentations and reports --both written and oral--- to the ire of whoever will be concerned.  It's not for sheer stubbornness, but for proving that traditional methods coupled with modern technology can concretize an otherwise abstract idea.

I am up to the neck with work --- and classes that run from Monday till Sunday.  Yeah, you heard me right --- Monday till Sunday.  On weekdays, I have a 5-8 PM schedule.  On Saturdays, I have class from 7 AM till 8 PM (I am not kidding).  And on Sundays, it's a 9-12 date. Pretty hectic, yes, but it helped me recover from Facebook  and Farmville addiction.  The crops have all withered, but to harvest them at this time when I get to sleep at 2 AM due to extensive research, reading, outlining and all those things is simply crazy.  They could damn well wait till I finish this term and move on to the next term. If, by then, they'd refuse to have me back, well... maybe I'd say good riddance, hehehe!

I never knew I'd enjoy it, but I do, honestly.

Well, as I am too tired thinking of what to write, I might just as well post "evidences" of this much loved ordeal.

imagine us sitting on the concrete floor to create our power point presentation

no, I am not crying!  just a silly moment before my presentation started

now, let the show begin

just a close-up shot of that bare foot.  the floor was too slippery I was afraid I'd fall and break my bones.

what's that all about?

There's too much to write about but the I am too preoccupied to write it.  So from time to time, I'd be uploading pictures instead.

Going Back To School...

I know I should have gone back to school to earn that masters degree years ago.  I realized this sad fact even more when I noticed the disbelief and smug look on my daughter's face.

Late this afternoon, I formally informed my kids I am going back to school (yeah, right!).  Althea made no comment since at 6 years old, she still doesn't understand what it means --- except, of course, if she thinks I'm going to some kindergarten.  But my eldest, Andrea, suddenly burst out laughing --- yeah, looked like the cat who got the cream!  Then she looked at me with that annoying raised eyebrows while still wearing that silly grin... I had no choice but to burst out laughing as well.

Going back to school... hmmm, sounds alien even to my own ears, hehe.  I've been going to school for the past thirteen years, but not as the student  I intend be do now.  I always went to school as the teacher that I am.  Maybe, this is what my daughter found funny.  She saw the humour in me going to subject myself into routines I assign my students (well, smart of her, sigh!).  Maybe she couldn't imagine her autocratic mom sitting idly still in that rickety and rusty armchair and listening to some professor.  Oh well, it doesn't sound good to me either --- I feel too old to be back in the academe, wehehehe!

I should have gone through this when I was way younger (at 37, I am not too old, eh!).  But then, I always reasoned out that the kids were still too small and needed my care. I sound like the caring mom that most certainly am not.  And there was that silly plan of chasing that Bachelor of Laws degree .... and that Masters in Guidance and Counseling. Wow! Seventeen years after I graduated from college, I gained 0 degrees in any masters degree.  Yeah, right! Zero, nada, nil!

But the best thing about going back to school is the fact that I will not be doing it alone.  I'll be enrolling with other colleagues --- some much older than I am --- because we need to; not because we want to.  Well, no gun is pointed at our temples but we know we have no choice but to do it.

So, this teacher is going to subject herself to the will of another teacher.

This teacher is going back to school, finally... regardless of my daughter's disbelief.

I know my husband's going to love the news.  He's been persuading me to enrol for more than ten years.

Letting Go and Letting God

 Relax... let go, let GOD!

"Relax." I have been told this word far too many times.And far too many times, I have ignored this simple piece of advise thinking that in my own way, I could make possible everything I wish to happen.  But that just isn't the case because there is someone far more powerful than the mere mortal that I am --- my God, my Creator.

Sometimes, I tend to forget I am but a speck in this wide universe.  I tend to think that my life is always under "my" control.  And in so doing, I most often find myself disillusioned and bitter. To let go, they say, is to let God.  To let go of my human pride and accept that I can not make a big difference in  my life and the lives of those who are around me if I don't allow God to have free rein is to accept that I am nothing without God.

Oh well, easier said than done. My stubborn streak would always get the better off every situation, eh.  I almost always feel like I'm superhuman and can manipulate anything to come together--- or fall apart just by thinking they would.  Goodness. but I guess I am experiencing a major case of psychosis, lol! God forbid!

On a serious note, the saying of the proverbial butterfly rings so true in situations like these.  Once it is chased, the more it becomes elusive as it flies higher and farther away.  But when you let it be, it rests when it is ready --- right on the palm of your hands. 


So, what do I need to do?

Relax.. wait ...

Learn to let go and let God.

Learn to live by faith and trust that the Lord of Lords will make everything fall into place in HIs own perfect time.

This Cat Called Arya

A little more than a year ago at almost midnight, a shrill kitten cry broke the eerie silence.  We had been used to stray kittens being left on the roadside in front of the house, but that night, the sound had been different.  The shrill kitten cry blended with angry puppy barking as though shooing away something they didn't like.  It turned out that the kitty  sought refuge with the puppies.  I had to see what happened because I was afraid the little black and white kitty would be killed by the pups.

 This is Arya after a year with us. A graceful male who's almost always out with the neighbor's all black female cat.  A cuddly and loving cat who likes snuggling and cuddling with anyone in the house.  But I want to share some fun moments of him as he was growing up....

 When he felt like suckling --- because he was still too small when he strayed into our home and into our hearts, he'd suck on Sapphira --- a pup (now dead) a few weeks older than himself.  What could he have gotten from it?

 This always happened when he was not allowed to suck, hehehe... Look at the stubborn look on that face!

After a few minutes of wrestling with her miniature foe, Sapphira finally gives in and allows the stubborn kittly to suckle till he gets to sleep, lol!

 If worse comes to worse, there was always my brother's ear to suckle on!

But you see, Arya brought more than just laughter and joy to our home.  We have come to realize a few things with him around ---

...that cats loves watching geography and other stuff on DVD

... and that this cat observes intently at what the others are doing and/or saying

... that cats show pride to wear medals... look at that face, lol!

Not only that, he's fond of one thing too--- sleep! And when he's asleep, you can do anything to him and he doesn't give a damn so long as he drifts peacefully off to dreamland...

... sleeping on my brother's laptop

and on my laptop

...on anybody's lap, torso or lap --- body stiff as a rod

... sleeping with a miniature Bambi

...yes, he's asleep and doing that cross-legged stunt, hehe!

... look at that silly sleeping cat!

imitating the surrogate mother

a certified imitator ... take note of their angles

just woken up... that face which only a mother can love, hehehe

jealous of the younger brood ... he's not hugging Katya, I tell you

 This cat had been like family to us.  He's been giving us giggles since he came into our lives with his foolish antics.  He's now all grown and good looking but each time, he doesn't fail to give everyone a hearty dose of laughter just being the cat that he is...

Boy, but I just love this cat!

... and he loves me back, see???

But does it seem like he wants to get away?

That Crucial First Step

Is there someone alive so bold and daring so as to not feel a certain degree of apprehension, uncertainty or fear of taking in a step forward --- especially when that step leads her or him toward an unknown shore?

Maybe, there are a few adventurous people who will not feel the tingling nerve-endings when venturing out into the unknown.  There are a few exceptional people with that "devil may care" attitude and who think that they can take on any challenge--- climb any mountain, sail any ocean and forge every stream --- even when the odds are dangerously high.  Regardless of whether they had been successful at whatever endeavor they embarked on, it does not matter because what matters to them is the thrill of having to do something that isn't usually done.

I sometimes wish I had that kind of recklessness in me --- that wild abandon and impulsiveness of youth.  I sometimes envy those who seem to have no fear in their blood, no reservations in their veins because it always seemed that they always lived life to the fullest --- but do they, really?  I sometimes get to think how nice it would have been if I were the risk taker that I am not. Would it have brought me greater glory?  Would it have led me to a certain kind of downfall?

I have always opted to tread within my familiar shores.  While something in me dreams of soaring where even angels fear to tread, a large dose of common sense would always tell me to take things in stride because most of the time, situations can never be understood through the hurry and the haste. Yes, there have been a few times when I threw all caution to the wind and got to experience the exhilaration of a certain freedom: the freedom from having to fall into the stereotype, but always, when the momentary sense of triumph fades, something deep within would always ask, "Is the thrill even worth the risk of losing your self-respect?"

I am not implying that risk-takers are all set for self-destruction.  What I do know is that, if worse comes to worse, they lose more than they are willing to bet --- if they were honest enough. But knowing their love for what's dangerous and thrilling, they'd soon fly out of the rut, flap their wings again and soar into yet another unfamiliar skyline.   While I envy the resiliency that they portray, I couldn't imagine myself ever having to wallow in regret.  Truly, no two persons could ever have the same attitude about life and how it is to be lived.

But what if, for once, I take that crucial first step into the unknown and be like someone I haven't known myself to be --- and yet someone who I so love to have become? What if I shed this safety shell that I have been carrying around me and venture out into the unknown?  What if I'd try to fly unbidden and unrestrained by anything--- be it fear, inhibition or doubt?  What if, for once, I take the risk and take a bet?   What if, one day, I finally get to muster the courage to take that first crucial step?  Will I still be the same me afterwards?

I couldn't tell, just yet...

And I haven't mustered the courage just yet --- not because of what you might call cowardice, but because of  the fact that I am a wife and mother. And that whatever decision I make  affects not only myself but also my young children and my husband. 

Someday, I might make that first step ... but I sure wouldn't make it alone. And it wouldn't just be a single step. It would be a leap of faith for me, my two daughters and my husband --- a family's leap toward something brighter and better.

Finger Induced Infidelity

The advent of the cellular phone is one remarkable milestone in the history of communications technology.  Through it, the verbal exchange has fast escalated to a high level.  What used to take weeks to arrive at one's doorstep --- the traditional hand written messages , I mean--- now takes but a split second.  Fast indeed, but unfortunately, impersonal and sometimes shallow and if not, too full of pretense.  Yes, indeed.  With only the fingers as the means of transmitting messages from one person to another and with the feeling of safety brought about by the anonymity of "only" the mobile number, one can create a scenario completely different from what reality is.  To phrase it more bluntly, text messaging has fast become an instrument of deceit and infidelity.

Even with the physical presence of a lover --- or a spouse --- nearby, a partner could "unknowingly' be involved in a verbal tryst --- a verbal affair --- with another person.  Many fall into the common trap: emotional attachment brought about by the sugar coated words of the text mate even without one ever realizing it.  True, one doesn't feel at all guilty at having to share personal secrets, feelings, thoughts --- even a few below the belt banters --- after all, there is no physical involvement that's happening.  But isn't it also said that when one unzips his/her heart to someone other than his/her spouse, it it the same thing as unzipping his/her jeans?   Little by little, what begins as an innocent friendship through an exchange of friendly text messages and gradually becomes not so innocent flattery becomes the source of conflict for what used to be a solid relationship.   Before one is even aware of it, the emotional virus brought about by the cellular phone has become successful in eroding  the most essential foundations of a relationship: trust and respect.

Text messaging had been designed to keep communication lines open for people whose means of living have kept them apart from loved ones left behind. But what has happened is that, it is already employed by some to cheat on a spouse, generate income through fraudulent means --- I don't have to spell everything letter by letter because I have implied it clearly enough. Lately, it has become the gadget of doom especially for the young men and women who have fallen prey to its fatal tentacles --- the young  girls of 14 and 15 who get pregnant all too soon --- or worse, raped and murdered by the sweet-talking text mate.  It has also become a gadget of marriage destruction especially for the insecure husband and wife who couldn't find the compliment of a husband and/or a wife at home and whose heart skips a beat when someone sends a text message that tickles the ego notwithstanding the fact that there are people who have been hurt in the process.  

Oh well, is this gadget even worth the cost of a solid family? I don't think so.  That's why I have been

too careful as to how I use the cellphone.  I own two units. One I use for work and one for my husband.  But I never engage in useless exchange of senseless and childish flattery.  I don't entertain messages that aren't important since I delete them as soon as they are received. Oh, I don't care so much what people will say about what I do and how I do things, but I care a lot about how my husband will feel --- because I know I wouldn't like it one bit if I found out he'd been saying sweet nothings to someone else even if it's only through the supposed anonymity of the text message.  I wouldn't want to read romantic lines meant for him that do not come from me.

I am not jealous, I tell you.  It's just that I have this eerie sense of knowing what happens even before it happens.  Well, it's not something extraordinary actually because everyone knows that when one plays with fire, eventually, he gets burned. I just do not want to make a bet with the devil because I know that he would do everything in his power to win --- even with innocent text messaging.

I don't want to enjoy too much, the sheer thrill and power and joy brought about by the sugar coated words of a text mate because I might unknowingly fall in love with words... and scatter the debris of a shattered family and a broken home in its wake.  I don't want to destroy the sanctity of my marriage just because of an emotional infidelity brought about by my wayward fingers ... and my overfed ego.

Well, well... just my two cents worth... 

If you don't like it cause it stings, click on the exit sign and leave.  But if it makes some sense, please ponder --- it might not be too late after all.

Where Do I Go From Here?

I have been blogging since 2006 .... a good four years ago.

When I first stumbled upon Yahoo 360, I didn't even think I'd get hooked on the habit of blogging, but as my followers rose in number, I felt a certain responsibility toward them.  I started to gain a few boosts of confidence thinking that for those people to have kept coming back to my page each day, they might have found a good reason even when I felt there was no reason at all ---- because all I ever did was share my humble opinions, my views, my daily life in the simplest way I could.

I came at a point of having more than  two thousand hits daily and that's when I started to blog regularly.  It was then when I felt lost without having to write an account of what transpired in my simple way of life in different manners: humorous, sad, disgusted, angry, enraged even --- maybe that's what my followers liked in my writing.  Whenever I wrote something, it was a sharing of myself --- my writing had always been and will always be a sharing of myself.

Yahoo!360 is now gone and is never coming back.  I lost touch with most of my friends back then, but the love to write has not diminished a bit.  I still love writing, but the responsibility at having to do a daily account of a teacher, mother, daughter, sister has waned. I have tried starting at some other blog sites, but I never made it past the first month.   After which I soon lose interest and leave it.  I missed the almost live interaction at my old home which was Yahoo!360.

Now, I am starting again.  I couldn't even tell if I'd still be writing here a month from now --- maybe, I'd be hooked on my Farmville or be busy treasure hunting at Treasure Isle, well, who knows?

I don't really know, but I sure would love to see where I will go from this first step.  Will I go further?  I couldn't tell...  couldn't promise either.

I just have to wait and see.....

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Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates