New Year Participation to Enrique Villanueva's Founding Anniversary

It is finally 2020.

The first day of 2020 has officially arrived. While some may still be in bed making up for lost sleep the previous night due to the festivities in ushering in the new year, we were at the Enrique Villanueva Plaza for the town's annual founding anniversary celebration.

There were only a few of us, EVNHS Faculty present; but despite the small number, the fun was still there. We weren't the only ones in there anyways. The plaza was abound with people in red colored shirts - or in anything red - to symbolize the town's color.

After the mass at 8 AM, there was a motorcade which was participated in by the stakeholders of the municipality - both internal and external. A flower offering to then Governor Enrique Villanueva followed. After an hour or more, the Salu-salo was done with all those present partaking in the sumptuous food prepared by the LGU and the barangays.

A program will be held in the afternoon, but this author is too sleepy to watch. I am very much certain though that it is going to be as fun and eventful as the activities staged this morning.

 Who says Enrique Villanueva only has 13 inhabitants?

Another angle of the venue still showing the number of participants to this January 1 event.

A closer shot ...

My principal, Mr. Reynaldo Santos and my colleague, Mrs. Anna-Liza Jimenez apparently discussing some important matters.

And here is your writer, waiting for the food to be served 😂😂😂.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Moral Recovery and Anti Graft Seminar

Today is remarkably better than the days past, emotionally speaking.  I am not feeling off to the moon with happiness or anything of the sort, but definitely, I am feeling better --- though of course, I still have it in me to want to lash out at the first human who is mad enough to cross my firing range.

Today,  my students will start enjoying their week-long semestral break, but unfortunately, teachers aren't one with these students in taking a break.  For the whole week, we are compelled to join in a series of seminars for professional enrichment. It certainly is a good thing to think of thinking that teachers are considered the molders of society, but it is very ironic for the sons and daughters of teachers to have gone astray because their teacher - parents barely have the time to spend with them, let alone make follow-ups on their lives.

Having gone through the first day of the Anti-Graft and Moral Recovery seminar, I could say I was in the right place at the right time today.  The topics were just what each of us needed to jolt us out of our safety zones and to wake us up from our slumber.  However, as has happened in seminars past, teachers, many of them to be specific, were present just for the sake of complying with what had been required.  Most of them who were present were not really that dead serious about what we had been listening to.

Personally, I loved the topics. I knew most of what we discussed since, yet, hearing those things being affirmed by other people made me strengthen my faith.  True enough, I can choose to make a difference if I let God reign supreme in my heart and make him rule in my life. 

Emotional Ebb Tide

I am unfortunately into one of those episodes when all I simply want to do is to go and hide at some dark corner and stay there until the negative feelings subside.  It's quite favorable for the earth to open up and swallow me whole.  It just feels like I am hopelessly drifting out to sea clinging on driftwood and never knowing where life's uncertain tides will lead me. My heart feels heavy and yet I can't point out one specific reason for why I am feeling this way. I couldn't single out a single person who has brought me this emotional ebb tide --- well, except myself, of course.

Well, maybe it could simply just be premenstrual syndrome.

I am worried about my husband because it's been a week since he last sent me a message through messenger.  I know he arrived in Dubai safely because we chatted when they were still staying at the hotel.  But since Sunday evening of last week, he hasn't sent me anything, not a single word.  I know he is alright.  I know God is taking care of him.  It's just that, this stubborn head and heart of mine wouldn't let me stop worrying.  I am praying that he is going to send me even the shortest of lines in the days to come.

Another reason for the negative vibes is my approaching pre-oral examination. Obviously, I need money. Unfortunately though, Plo's schedule had been unpredictable and he didn't find the time to send me the money I need for this and for the household maintenance --- he simply told me that if he couldn't find the time to send  me the allowance, I might need to apply for another loan.  Been thinking of crossing the sea to do just that the past week, but unfortunately, weather's been unpredictable and a lot of activities have been piling up one after the other. This week's schedule is another hurried event with the Second Quarter Exams falling on Monday and Tuesday and another seminar will be held on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday is also the schedule of the Writeshop to be held at Candaping. Damn it, but I feel like I am at the end of my wits.  How I want to shout at the top of my voice till all of the voice is gone and lay spent afterwards.

I have always been the optimist, but just for this moment, I want to give in to the negative.  I don't even want to speak with people because I might be able to say things I shouldn't.  I'd rather keep everything inside of me because there's nothing new with the situation anyway --- I have always felt alone, especially in moments when I am in dire need. But when I am experiencing abundance, well,.... no need to elaborate. I just am tired of all these and I simply want  start anew in some faraway land with only me and my husband and kids --- for us to savor life the way it was always meant to be lived by a family.

Oh well, this could just be another episode of mixed-up regret, anger, desperation and everything else; nonetheless, it needs to be aired out into the open.

Hopeful that this too shall pass.....

Gadget Lows

It's early morning and I should have been hurrying so that I won't be late for work, and yet, here I am tapping the keypads of my laptop. 

Again, for the nth time, my laptop died on me --- and I have noticed that when it does, it always happens when I am downloading multiple video files.  I searched the web for possible reasons to this phenomenon and I was able to find some explanations: 1) it could be a virus; 2) it could be  a hardware failure... and it says in there that when a computer behaves this way, the problem is quite serious. Well, I have gotten the point that it might be better to plan of purchasing replacement while I still have time to salvage my files, but well, the price of a laptop is still quite high and I need to go find some source.  But I know I have to regardless of whether I want to or not.  The computer's become a big part of my work --- and my life because it makes my job easier.  It's also become a big part of my personal life because I communicate with loved ones through it.

Whew! Gadgets can be quite irritating, nonetheless, they've become necessary.  I just hope it wouldn't breath its last before I find the pot of gold to enable me to buy a new one.  I still have the old one, yes, but it just isn't portable anymore because its keypad no longer works.  I bought a large keypad to make it easier for my daughter to tap it.  

Diverting My Wayward Thoughts

The past few weeks had been pretty fast and crazy.  With deadlines to beat and all the stuff, it sometimes felt that I was chasing time --- or maybe the exact opposite was happening, time being the one running after me. Whichever the case, the effect on me is the same: I feel out of breath.  I sort of feel like I am moving in all directions and yet there is no real direction to where I am going.

Activities have piled up one after the other --- all of them work related.  Well, what can I say? Nothing, I guess ...  even if I want to say a lot of things, I'd better keep my fingers locked to the more civilized keys on the keyboard so I couldn't start griping and complaining. After all, I have promised to myself I will be good --- at least, while I still can be, hehehe. I want to twist and shout (sounds like some sing and dance number, huh!) at the same time... and roll on the floor for a finale, but doing so is, of course, unthinkable considering that I have a wholesome (???) image to uphold.  But in all reality, I really feel like doing all the unthinkable just to get my point across to whoever may have the heart to consider that teachers are also humans --- we also need to play every once in a while --- to sharpen our blunted edges so that we can be more like we were before this hurried and fast-paced work overtook the leisurely manner through which we did our job.

As I have mentioned beforehand, I promised to be good years ago --- after my published article.  And because I know myself better than anyone else, I also know that I can only stand so much.  I can only be good up to a certain point.  And when this certain point has been reached, I know I'd fly off my handle and start ranting and raving like crazy...

 And so, I made a project ... both for my vocally gifted students and for myself. I bought a pair of speakers and microphones.

Why???

Because this school year, I noticed that singing competitions have become an "in" thing again.  We have joined inter-school singing contests and my heart always goes out to the kid who participates in the contest without thorough practice and exposure. They have the voice, yes, but I really feel that given the choice, the'yd rather that the floor would open up and swallow them whole. They only consented because they were not given any choice.

I just knew I had to do something. I had to take matters into my own hands because I know how it is to perform for quite a large audience and how much of an embarrassment it is to sing when I am unprepared.  I started to form a group which  I dubbed as the EVNHS Voices.  I started out with only those whose vocal powers I already knew.  After lunch and during our Special Programs, I'd attach the speakers to my computers and we'd had performances... just to practice the singing and for the members to practice singing in front of a crowd.  We are already in our second week and the group is slowly growing.  When they reach 50, we'd have to formalize the organization and elect its officers.

I know it isn't an easy venture on my part considering I have so much to do.  But I enjoy every day that I spend practicing with my members.  I feel a certain joy watching them share their God-given talents. I am awed at some raw performers who were't given the chance to shine earlier on because of, unfortunately, teacher biases. I feel a certain kind of fulfillment watching how a student-singer metamorphoses from a shy protegee to a confident one.  It's tough for my schedule, but I feel fulfilled at the end of the day knowing I have helped one soul get out of the shell he/she had been hiding in for a long time.

I know I'd be meeting a lot of roadblocks along the way, but I am confident I can make it through.  I prayed for guidance before I embarked on this personal project and I am faithful that God is going to help me through.  It's tough and it's tiresome, but so far, it's been beneficial to me personally.  This project I have embarked on had diverted my wayward thoughts into more positive and aligned ideals.

Wi-Fi Secured

Finally, after rummaging through all the papers I could find in search for an old SMART Bro bill, my wireless internet connection is as good as new.  I also found the CD installer of my Linksys Wireless-G Broadband router which made it all the more easier for me to key in a password and enabled me to choose a connection with higher security.

I never thought it'd come to this point, but I guess, enough is enough. I don't have complaints about the slower internet speed because I don't play RPG games in any way. I was content with the speed I have been used to. What mattered anyway was that I could communicate with loved ones far from me.

Some good things never last... that's what a familiar line states.  Indeed! I simply felt the need to put my foot down and say (even without saying the word) that enough is enough. I haven't gotten tired with people. I have simply gotten tired of my property being abused.

Finger Induced Infidelity

The advent of the cellular phone is one remarkable milestone in the history of communications technology. Through it, the verbal exchange has fast escalated to a high level. What used to take weeks to arrive at one's doorstep --- the traditional hand written messages , I mean--- now takes but a split second. Fast indeed, but unfortunately, impersonal and sometimes shallow and if not, too full of pretense. Yes, indeed. With only the fingers as the means of transmitting messages from one person to another and with the feeling of safety brought about by the anonymity of "only" the mobile number, one can create a scenario completely different from what reality is. To phrase it more bluntly, text messaging has fast become an instrument of deceit and infidelity.



Even with the physical presence of a lover --- or a spouse --- nearby, a partner could "unknowingly' be involved in a verbal tryst --- a verbal affair --- with another person. Many fall into the common trap: emotional attachment brought about by the sugar coated words of the text mate even without one ever realizing it. True, one doesn't feel at all guilty at having to share personal secrets, feelings, thoughts --- even a few below the belt banters --- after all, there is no physical involvement that's happening. But isn't it also said that when one unzips his/her heart to someone other than his/her spouse, it it the same thing as unzipping his/her jeans? Little by little, what begins as an innocent friendship through an exchange of friendly text messages and gradually becomes not so innocent flattery becomes the source of conflict for what used to be a solid relationship. Before one is even aware of it, the emotional virus brought about by the cellular phone has become successful in eroding the most essential foundations of a relationship: trust and respect.



Text messaging had been designed to keep communication lines open for people whose means of living have kept them apart from loved ones left behind. But what has happened is that, it is already employed by some to cheat on a spouse, generate income through fraudulent means --- I don't have to spell everything letter by letter because I have implied it clearly enough. Lately, it has become the gadget of doom especially for the young men and women who have fallen prey to its fatal tentacles --- the young girls of 14 and 15 who get pregnant all too soon --- or worse, raped and murdered by the sweet-talking text mate. It has also become a gadget of marriage destruction especially for the insecure husband and wife who couldn't find the compliment of a husband and/or a wife at home and whose heart skips a beat when someone sends a text message that tickles the ego notwithstanding the fact that there are people who have been hurt in the process.



Oh well, is this gadget even worth the cost of a solid family? I don't think so. That's why I have been

too careful as to how I use the cellphone. I own two units. One I use for work and one for my husband. But I never engage in useless exchange of senseless and childish flattery. I don't entertain messages that aren't important since I delete them as soon as they are received. Oh, I don't care so much what people will say about what I do and how I do things, but I care a lot about how my husband will feel --- because I know I wouldn't like it one bit if I found out he'd been saying sweet nothings to someone else even if it's only through the supposed anonymity of the text message. I wouldn't want to read romantic lines meant for him that do not come from me.



I am not jealous, I tell you. It's just that I have this eerie sense of knowing what happens even before it happens. Well, it's not something extraordinary actually because everyone knows that when one plays with fire, eventually, he gets burned. I just do not want to make a bet with the devil because I know that he would do everything in his power to win --- even with innocent text messaging.



I don't want to enjoy too much, the sheer thrill and power and joy brought about by the sugar coated words of a text mate because I might unknowingly fall in love with words... and scatter the debris of a shattered family and a broken home in its wake. I don't want to destroy the sanctity of my marriage just because of an emotional infidelity brought about by my wayward fingers ... and my overfed ego.



Well, well... just my two cents worth...



If you don't like it cause it stings, click on the exit sign and leave. But if it makes some sense, please ponder --- it might not be too late after all.

(original text published at Facebook on April 8, 2010)