Learning From Blades of Grass (Video Essay)

This time, the essay in in video format.

Is Oneness Still Possible in This Digital World?

https://i1.wp.com/www.nadinehead.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/square-celestial-couple.jpg

Let's face it; everyone faces the dilemma of staying tightly connected with his closest neighbors, families and friends and being left all alone with his gadgets.  Everywhere, we see people being with people and yet they do not talk with each other.  They are together, yes, but their togetherness is just physical --- the best part of connecting with another human being has been lost - gone - eaten up by our "want" to be virtually connected all the time.

Families sit at the table during meals and yet they do not connect emotionally and spiritually; their physical proximity is but a realistic antonym to their emotional distance towards each other. They dive their silverware into their heaped-up plates, sometimes in silence, their minds wandering towards notifications on FB, views at You Tube, private or secret messages on various IM apps and other physical connection encumbrances.  They finish their meals, their bodies are satiated and yet emotionally, they are as skinny as their spirits.

Let's all face it, this is everyone's reality as of the moment.  Parents can no longer connect to their children the way they should not because they do not want to but because these gadgets seem to provide an invisible barrier in between.  Children smile and laugh at their virtual friends whether through emoticons or through video calls, but they can not smile genuinely at the people who should matter most in their lives - their parents.  How pathetic this life has become when parents compete with non-living things for the attention of their precious children.

The lingering question is:  Is oneness still possible in this digital world?  Can one still feel his connection with another being, with the world around him, with nature and with the intangible gifts that God has given mankind?  Can man separate himself with his cell --- his gadget --- even for a few moments to establish or rekindle connection to everyone who matters to him?  You know as much as I do just how difficult this has become. You know as much as I do how emotionally tasking it is to try to establish connection and get shunned instantly because the internet is always a beckoning and friendly ally whose importance has become too great for those who have been hooked to it.

Like drugs, interconnectivity has plagued almost everyone --- myself included.  How ironic it is when interconnectivity has failed where it should matter most: CONNECTION. Without connection - genuine connection, oneness will never be possible; hence, without connection, oneness will be an elusive dream for humanity.

New Year Participation to Enrique Villanueva's Founding Anniversary

It is finally 2020.

The first day of 2020 has officially arrived. While some may still be in bed making up for lost sleep the previous night due to the festivities in ushering in the new year, we were at the Enrique Villanueva Plaza for the town's annual founding anniversary celebration.

There were only a few of us, EVNHS Faculty present; but despite the small number, the fun was still there. We weren't the only ones in there anyways. The plaza was abound with people in red colored shirts - or in anything red - to symbolize the town's color.

After the mass at 8 AM, there was a motorcade which was participated in by the stakeholders of the municipality - both internal and external. A flower offering to then Governor Enrique Villanueva followed. After an hour or more, the Salu-salo was done with all those present partaking in the sumptuous food prepared by the LGU and the barangays.

A program will be held in the afternoon, but this author is too sleepy to watch. I am very much certain though that it is going to be as fun and eventful as the activities staged this morning.

 Who says Enrique Villanueva only has 13 inhabitants?

Another angle of the venue still showing the number of participants to this January 1 event.

A closer shot ...

My principal, Mr. Reynaldo Santos and my colleague, Mrs. Anna-Liza Jimenez apparently discussing some important matters.

And here is your writer, waiting for the food to be served 😂😂😂.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Moral Recovery and Anti Graft Seminar

Today is remarkably better than the days past, emotionally speaking.  I am not feeling off to the moon with happiness or anything of the sort, but definitely, I am feeling better --- though of course, I still have it in me to want to lash out at the first human who is mad enough to cross my firing range.

Today,  my students will start enjoying their week-long semestral break, but unfortunately, teachers aren't one with these students in taking a break.  For the whole week, we are compelled to join in a series of seminars for professional enrichment. It certainly is a good thing to think of thinking that teachers are considered the molders of society, but it is very ironic for the sons and daughters of teachers to have gone astray because their teacher - parents barely have the time to spend with them, let alone make follow-ups on their lives.

Having gone through the first day of the Anti-Graft and Moral Recovery seminar, I could say I was in the right place at the right time today.  The topics were just what each of us needed to jolt us out of our safety zones and to wake us up from our slumber.  However, as has happened in seminars past, teachers, many of them to be specific, were present just for the sake of complying with what had been required.  Most of them who were present were not really that dead serious about what we had been listening to.

Personally, I loved the topics. I knew most of what we discussed since, yet, hearing those things being affirmed by other people made me strengthen my faith.  True enough, I can choose to make a difference if I let God reign supreme in my heart and make him rule in my life. 

Emotional Ebb Tide

I am unfortunately into one of those episodes when all I simply want to do is to go and hide at some dark corner and stay there until the negative feelings subside.  It's quite favorable for the earth to open up and swallow me whole.  It just feels like I am hopelessly drifting out to sea clinging on driftwood and never knowing where life's uncertain tides will lead me. My heart feels heavy and yet I can't point out one specific reason for why I am feeling this way. I couldn't single out a single person who has brought me this emotional ebb tide --- well, except myself, of course.

Well, maybe it could simply just be premenstrual syndrome.

I am worried about my husband because it's been a week since he last sent me a message through messenger.  I know he arrived in Dubai safely because we chatted when they were still staying at the hotel.  But since Sunday evening of last week, he hasn't sent me anything, not a single word.  I know he is alright.  I know God is taking care of him.  It's just that, this stubborn head and heart of mine wouldn't let me stop worrying.  I am praying that he is going to send me even the shortest of lines in the days to come.

Another reason for the negative vibes is my approaching pre-oral examination. Obviously, I need money. Unfortunately though, Plo's schedule had been unpredictable and he didn't find the time to send me the money I need for this and for the household maintenance --- he simply told me that if he couldn't find the time to send  me the allowance, I might need to apply for another loan.  Been thinking of crossing the sea to do just that the past week, but unfortunately, weather's been unpredictable and a lot of activities have been piling up one after the other. This week's schedule is another hurried event with the Second Quarter Exams falling on Monday and Tuesday and another seminar will be held on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday is also the schedule of the Writeshop to be held at Candaping. Damn it, but I feel like I am at the end of my wits.  How I want to shout at the top of my voice till all of the voice is gone and lay spent afterwards.

I have always been the optimist, but just for this moment, I want to give in to the negative.  I don't even want to speak with people because I might be able to say things I shouldn't.  I'd rather keep everything inside of me because there's nothing new with the situation anyway --- I have always felt alone, especially in moments when I am in dire need. But when I am experiencing abundance, well,.... no need to elaborate. I just am tired of all these and I simply want  start anew in some faraway land with only me and my husband and kids --- for us to savor life the way it was always meant to be lived by a family.

Oh well, this could just be another episode of mixed-up regret, anger, desperation and everything else; nonetheless, it needs to be aired out into the open.

Hopeful that this too shall pass.....

Gadget Lows

It's early morning and I should have been hurrying so that I won't be late for work, and yet, here I am tapping the keypads of my laptop. 

Again, for the nth time, my laptop died on me --- and I have noticed that when it does, it always happens when I am downloading multiple video files.  I searched the web for possible reasons to this phenomenon and I was able to find some explanations: 1) it could be a virus; 2) it could be  a hardware failure... and it says in there that when a computer behaves this way, the problem is quite serious. Well, I have gotten the point that it might be better to plan of purchasing replacement while I still have time to salvage my files, but well, the price of a laptop is still quite high and I need to go find some source.  But I know I have to regardless of whether I want to or not.  The computer's become a big part of my work --- and my life because it makes my job easier.  It's also become a big part of my personal life because I communicate with loved ones through it.

Whew! Gadgets can be quite irritating, nonetheless, they've become necessary.  I just hope it wouldn't breath its last before I find the pot of gold to enable me to buy a new one.  I still have the old one, yes, but it just isn't portable anymore because its keypad no longer works.  I bought a large keypad to make it easier for my daughter to tap it.  

Diverting My Wayward Thoughts

The past few weeks had been pretty fast and crazy.  With deadlines to beat and all the stuff, it sometimes felt that I was chasing time --- or maybe the exact opposite was happening, time being the one running after me. Whichever the case, the effect on me is the same: I feel out of breath.  I sort of feel like I am moving in all directions and yet there is no real direction to where I am going.

Activities have piled up one after the other --- all of them work related.  Well, what can I say? Nothing, I guess ...  even if I want to say a lot of things, I'd better keep my fingers locked to the more civilized keys on the keyboard so I couldn't start griping and complaining. After all, I have promised to myself I will be good --- at least, while I still can be, hehehe. I want to twist and shout (sounds like some sing and dance number, huh!) at the same time... and roll on the floor for a finale, but doing so is, of course, unthinkable considering that I have a wholesome (???) image to uphold.  But in all reality, I really feel like doing all the unthinkable just to get my point across to whoever may have the heart to consider that teachers are also humans --- we also need to play every once in a while --- to sharpen our blunted edges so that we can be more like we were before this hurried and fast-paced work overtook the leisurely manner through which we did our job.

As I have mentioned beforehand, I promised to be good years ago --- after my published article.  And because I know myself better than anyone else, I also know that I can only stand so much.  I can only be good up to a certain point.  And when this certain point has been reached, I know I'd fly off my handle and start ranting and raving like crazy...

 And so, I made a project ... both for my vocally gifted students and for myself. I bought a pair of speakers and microphones.

Why???

Because this school year, I noticed that singing competitions have become an "in" thing again.  We have joined inter-school singing contests and my heart always goes out to the kid who participates in the contest without thorough practice and exposure. They have the voice, yes, but I really feel that given the choice, the'yd rather that the floor would open up and swallow them whole. They only consented because they were not given any choice.

I just knew I had to do something. I had to take matters into my own hands because I know how it is to perform for quite a large audience and how much of an embarrassment it is to sing when I am unprepared.  I started to form a group which  I dubbed as the EVNHS Voices.  I started out with only those whose vocal powers I already knew.  After lunch and during our Special Programs, I'd attach the speakers to my computers and we'd had performances... just to practice the singing and for the members to practice singing in front of a crowd.  We are already in our second week and the group is slowly growing.  When they reach 50, we'd have to formalize the organization and elect its officers.

I know it isn't an easy venture on my part considering I have so much to do.  But I enjoy every day that I spend practicing with my members.  I feel a certain joy watching them share their God-given talents. I am awed at some raw performers who were't given the chance to shine earlier on because of, unfortunately, teacher biases. I feel a certain kind of fulfillment watching how a student-singer metamorphoses from a shy protegee to a confident one.  It's tough for my schedule, but I feel fulfilled at the end of the day knowing I have helped one soul get out of the shell he/she had been hiding in for a long time.

I know I'd be meeting a lot of roadblocks along the way, but I am confident I can make it through.  I prayed for guidance before I embarked on this personal project and I am faithful that God is going to help me through.  It's tough and it's tiresome, but so far, it's been beneficial to me personally.  This project I have embarked on had diverted my wayward thoughts into more positive and aligned ideals.